A Not So Happy 4Th Of July
Hey everyone, I see it’s been awhile since I posted. Sorry! I have had a rough few months with my dog…he actually lived longer than expected and was doing really good until probably the last 2-3 days. Once I noticed he was having more bad days than good I knew it was time to say good-bye. I have been dreading this day since I found out he had lymphoma. Buzz and I have had to do this 4 times before, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Neo was the hardest yet, the others had no choice, they were in a lot of pain and dying. Neo had his good moments, not days. Dogs (maybe cats too) mask their pain. They want to always make us happy so we have to see through that and realize when it’s time to let go. I knew something was wrong with him before I even found out he was sick. I saw his eyes change. He told me without obviously “telling me.” Neo and I had a rare connection. He only liked a handful of people and didn’t like other dogs. The only dogs he liked were the 3 that he grew up with as a puppy. He was my protector…always at my feet ready to fight off anyone that might hurt me. I miss him so much, it’s really hard typing this right with the tears pouring down my face. BUT I do it because it makes me feel better and hearing from you all makes it hurt a little less. Hearing your stories and just telling me how sorry you are makes a world of difference…so THANKS so much for all the kind messages. You don’t realize how much it means to me.
Buzz and I took him to the park yesterday afternoon and he enjoyed some chicken nuggets, he didn’t want the ice cream. He just sat and watched all the kids play. He was panting pretty hard so I knew he was not comfortable. The pain meds and steroids can only last so long.
Yesterday was probably one of the hardest days of my life, but I stayed strong for Neo. He is very sensitive to my feelings. I talked to him through the entire thing …told him what a good boy he was and how much I loved him. Once he passed, I lost it. I held him and cried many many tears. I felt better knowing his pain was gone. I really believe there is a special place for our beloved pets after they leave this world. I imagine him running and playing with my other dogs, he is the last of the 4 that grew up together.
Neo was 12 years old so I feel blessed that I had that long with him. Of course it’s never long enough. Just remember to enjoy life every day because in an instant everything can change. I am thinking of all his happy memories right now. I went through a bunch of photos and I wanted to share some with you. If you know me…you know I take a million pics of my dogs and cat.
I will be getting his ashes back and will be taking them to Arizona on our next trip. I still have Josie’s, she died from lymphoma as well back in 2012. I have spread my other two dogs, but didn’t find the right place or time to do that with hers. Now I know why…I was waiting for Neo’s so I can spread them together. They were best friends. When she died back in 2012 Neo changed a bit. He was never the same dog after her passing.
I have been through this before and I know the only thing that helps is TIME! I know he is gone physically, but he will live in my heart forever!!! RIP my little angel…mamma loves you.
Here are some pics I want to share. Neo loved camping, playing ball, riding and most of all swimming! He was the best swimmer! 🙂 I hope you all have a safe and fun 4th!
Kisses,
Rach
